I hate New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. New Year's Day, in my opinion, barely qualifies as a holiday and I detest it. Kind of random for an opening line, huh? Especially considering its actually January 26, well past that particular "holiday". You know I said that for a reason, right? Other than to state my opinion about New Year's as a preposterous non-holiday holiday. I said it to let you know what this blog post is about. Just wanted to make that clear. You've known me long enough to know that subtlety is not my strong-suit. Sarcasm and stating the obvious are my strong-suits. Thus this paragraph. It's rife with my strong-suits.
Anyway, allow me to enlighten you as to why I hate New Year's Day. In our house, currently Horseford Road and previously Poplar Street before that, the inevitability of 12/31 and 01/01 makes family members quake with fear. Not because we're afraid of noise makers and stupid looking hats and confetti. No, if only that was our only concern. No, that time period evokes fear in the hearts of myself, the hubs and, to a lesser degree, the punks, because we never know what kind of medical tragedy is going to befall us or our other family members.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm crazy. And of course, you're right. I am but that's got nothing to do with this and is a completely separate blog. I talk alot about studies and empirical evidence, even though I've never actually done any studies or provided any empirical evidence to back any of my non-existent studies. I actually have proof of this though. I can provide irrefutable proof that somewhere, someone or something, is determined to make us so afraid of 12/31 and 01/01 that we'll lock ourselves in our home on Christmas Day and not resurface again until Martin Luther King Jr's birthday.
Example #1: (This evidence will be presented in descending order, with the most recent examples provided first, because it's easier for me to remember that way. And it's my blog and I can do whatever I want.)
Anyway, Example #1(2011/2012) : Toothache, pulled muscle, "broken" foot.
As seen previously on Facebook, because pretty much everything on this blog has been seen previously on Facebook, 01/02/2012 found me lying on the couch after having a tooth yanked unceremoniously from my jaw. The toothache developed on 12/30/2011 but really kicked in on 01/01/2012. I seriously thought I was going to die. Well, not really. I didn't think I was going to die but man alive it reallllllllly hurt.
On 12/31, I was baking cupcakes or something, moved funny, and pulled a muscle in my back. It hurt then, especially when I had to sit through our New Year's service at church and found it difficult to get comfortable. On 01/01 it hurt worse but I was so consumed by other pain, from my tooth, and hopped up on Motrin, that I didn't notice it too much.
Prior to this, on 12/29, I think, I stood up from my couch. My foot was asleep and I came down funny on it and seriously thought I'd broken it. It hurt like CRAZY!! I had this awesome big knot or something pop up on it, it swelled, and turned some lovely shades of blue and yellow. It actually still hurts.
That was the most recent incident. Now, let's skip back to 01/04/2011. I know that this is not actually New Year's Eve or New Year's day but close enough.
Example #2 (2010/2011): As previously reported on Facebook and in this blog, I fell down the basement stairs and thought I was going to die. Well, not really. But it hurt alot. And it was embarrassing. I'll spare you the repetition of the details here and refer you to the post titled, "The Day I Ripped My New Tights", or something like that.
Now, let's skip back a little farther, before this blog was conceived. I know it's hard to think of a time that I wasn't spewing out the Gospel According to BKCMom, but trust me, there was a time. A time before it was put into writing anyway. This incident does not involve me, but should serve as a warning to family members that being related to me is not necessarily in your best interest, if there was previously a question regarding that.
I don't know the exact date of this of the next example. I know I was just returning to work at my oldest old job from the holiday break, which would have happened on 01/04/2010 or thereabouts. And it was before I started my new old job, which was 01/10/2010. So, again, not necessarily specific to the holiday but close enough to be jumbled in with the others. Someone else in the family can clarify the dates.
Example #3 (2009/2010): A weekend evening. Cleaning up after Christmas decorations were taken down. Hubs gets a call stating that his father has had some sort of cardiac episode and is being taken to the hospital. Episode results in father-in-law having major cardiac by-pass surgery. Again, not really about me but illustrates the point that most of the time, we're spending some time during the first week of January at the hospital.
The worst of the worst. We seemed to have a couple of relatively quiet ones, as far as I can remember but the two previous ones more than made up for it.
Example #4 (2006/2007): On 12/29/2006 we were told that our baby's cancer had returned and there was nothing left to be done for him. On 12/31 he spiked a fever and had to go to the emergency room. While there he started having a seizure and had to be flown via helicopter to Columbus. We followed behind. Somewhere near Ironton, OH, I was pulled over by an Ohio Highway Patrolman. Hubs was asleep beside me. I woke him up. I had to open my door because, at the time, the driver's window of my car wouldn't roll down. I couldn't find some of the documentation that he'd asked for. I was wearing a big sloppy t-shirt because my angel had puked on my sweater in the emergency room. I told the Patrolman that he'd been flown out and we were heading for the hospital. He let me go and told me to slow down. I didn't.
Example #5 (2005/2006) As previously described in another post on this blog, 12/31/2005 was the day our baby was diagnosed with cancer. New Year's Eve and Day were spent in the hospital. He was sick, I was experiencing morning sickness, and everyone was worried, grieving, and stressed.
This one again doesn't involve me but should also serve as a warning to family members, especially the in-laws, that the last week of December and first week of January would be a good time to stay away from me. I think this is the right year. I'm not sure on the the dates but I know it was New Years because we'd just ordered furniture and I was excited about that. Angel BK was a baby at the time but I wasn't working so he was less than 2 years old. He was walking already when this occurred because I can remember him walking around in our empty living room when we awaited the delivery of our furniture. He started walking about about 14 months. So that narrows the timeline down pretty good.
Example #6 (2004/2005) At this time the father-in-law drove a truck on the road. By that I mean he drove a semi and delivered stuff. He was in Tennessee at the time and got incredibly sick when he made his delivery. He actually had to be hospitalized. His wife went to be with him. She got sick as well. So, the hubs, the baby, me and the brother-in-law loaded up and drove several hours to retrieve both people and both of their vehicles. Of course this is nowhere near as traumatic as the other examples but it was the first. We spent the entire, I mean entire, day on the road. It was awful. A baby buckled in a car seat for an entire day. If that happened now, I'd probably tell everyone involved they were on their own. I was much nicer then.
Now, as far as I can remember, those are the only examples I have. I need to remind you though that out of the 11 new years my husband and I have welcomed together, 6 of them have been spent thus. So, the moral of this story? New Year's=Bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment