Welcome

Hey Y'all! Come on in! Make yourself comfortable. You're in the country now and this is how we roll.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Things My Baby Did For His Birthday

This is not a comprehensive list by any means as I'm not with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

1. He got a carton of used eggs out of the garbage and proceeded to smash empty egg shells all over my
living room.

2. He cried like someone had stabbed him in the eye when we sang happy birthday to him.

3. He whined...oh no, wait. That wasn't in recognition of his b-day. That's an everyday thing.

4. He destroyed 1 basketball game centerpiece less than 20 minutes after Mommy put it on the table.

5. He had a little fit at some point over the weekend and tossed shoes around the garage. He was clever  
about it though. He moved very slowly when we were watching him so we wouldn't catch on. You know
how mommies and daddies are-not very bright.

6. He helped his Daddy build a wall. :)

7. He obtained a log splitter to split logs into firewood. He, his Daddy and brother planned to use it Friday evening until an irate and exhausted Mommy exploded like a volcano, pointed her finger and yelled about them having wasted the entire previous day building a wall when there were hundreds of other more pressing things to get done.

8. He attended a bonfire at the neighbors' house where he and his brother actually played together. He made new friends by breaking a whiffle ball and demanding that every guest in attendance fix it and by trying to take all of the female guests' flip flops off of their feet.

9. He ate half a can of Treat. (If you don't know what Treat is, I'm not sure you're the kind of person who should be reading my blog. No, I'm kidding, of course. Treat is akin to Spam only better. I think it might be the southern version but I have no empirical evidence to back that up.) Baby BK loves it and that was essentially his lunch Friday.

10. Rubbed his brother's uneaten slices of Treat all over my couch.

11. Climbed onto the chair in our den to pay some bills or do some homework or something, then proceeded to cry for 15 minutes when he thought he couldn't get down and mommy refused to stop reading Body Double by Tess Gerritson long enough to get him down. Daddy claimed that the den was destroyed when he finally fetched the child off the chair.

12. He emptied the contents of the vacuum cleaner, which he is convinced is his best friend, onto my living room floor. This caused mommy to go into juvenile hissy fit, growling and yelling and threatening to murder everyone. Yep, good times.

13. He demanded that mommy manually blow up balloons even though he had 30 helium filled balloons spread throughout the house. Of course, Mommy didn't do it.

14. He fell over the same log at the neighbor's house 3 separate times.

And the best of all.....

15. He disappeared empty-handed into the corner of the family room and came out with 3 pacifiers. I'm not exactly sure how this happened but I know that when I can't find a paci I'll look in that corner from now on. 

Things My Big One Did for His Brother's Birthday

This is not a comprehensive list by any means as I'm not with him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

1. He had a fit and refused to come out of the house as long as his uncle was there for about an hour.

2. He cried and had a fit during the party for some unbeknownst reason, and clung to his Mommy's leg as she drug him through the garage.

3. He went to a bonfire at the neighbors' house and educated all and sundry about the equipment used on strip jobs, what kind of employment he was seeking (a job at a coal mine that has coal), and the uses of a tube of caulk.

4. He hit his brother.

5. He kicked his brother.

6. He yelled at his brother.

7. He demanded the opportunity to play with his brother's new toys before his brother could then took them to his room. They haven't been seen since.

8. He helped his daddy and brother build a wall. :)

9. He rearranged the gravel in the driveway.

10. He demanded that mommy drop whatever she was doing and get him juice, milk, some supper, some bacon, something to eat, a jelly sandwich, some supper.

11. He made his own supper by mixing a snack pack of vanilla pudding with some mini chocolate chips and some crumbled Oreos.

12. He obtained a log splitter to split logs into firewood. He, his Daddy and brother planned to use it Friday evening until an irate and exhausted Mommy exploded like a volcano, pointed her finger and yelled about them having wasted the entire previous day building a wall when there were hundreds of other more pressing things to get done.


13. He got grounded from cartoons for several of the above stated actions.
 
14. He made a marshmallow sandwich at the neighbors' bonfire.
 
And the best of all.....
 
15. He ate nearly an entire package of snack sized Hershey bars that were intended for s'mores at the baby's party.

No comments:

Followers