Our Angel BK Part 1

Our Angel BK was born on April 22, 2003, four days before his due date and less than one year after I'd graduated from MSU. He was our first and, as such, was the apple of our eye and hopelessly spoiled. He was the absolute picture of his daddy, anyone would tell you that and he had huge brown eyes that would swallow you up whole. He was not a morning person, just like his mommy, didn't like strangers or most people that he knew, but loved his Pappaw like crazy.

I stayed home with him until April 2005, just a couple of weeks before his birthday. He screamed like I'd killed him the first day I left him with Mommaw and I cried all the way to Paintsville. I wanted to go to work though. I wanted to put my education to use in some form.

Shortly after he started going to Mommaw's everyday, just a couple of months really, he started to throw up. It was sporadic at the time. I thought it was the milk he drank every morning and there is nothing in this world so disgusting as regurgitated milk so I started giving him a cup of orange juice each morning. As we got farther into the year, this sporadic vomiting became more regular. He'd begun throwing up almost every morning on the drive up. I took him to the doctor and was told he had acid reflux. He had to quit the orange juice and we started giving him prevacid. Prevacid for children is disgusting, or it was in 2005. It was a suspension formula and had to be mixed with water. It was thick and had these tiny little granules that were suspended-hence the moniker, suspension formula, see, I told you I went to college-in it. He hated it. I hated it for him because it really was gross.

That didn't work. He continued to throw up. So, we went to his pediatrician. The family doctor had diagnosed him previous to this. His pediatrician said that the prevacid wasn't a large enough dose. He increased it. At this point, I'm not sure if it had an effect or not, I seem to recall that maybe it seemed to for a short time.

In October, I was scheduled for a work trip. I would be away for a couple of days, so I took him to a doctor in Louisa. He had the sniffles and I wanted to make sure it was taken care of before I left. The doctor put him on the standard cold medications that are prescribed for all children. I mentioned the vomiting to him and he said that as long as he wasn't losing weight it probably wasnt't a big deal. So, count them, I'd taken my child to three seperate doctors about this. (This time line might be off. I'm not sure if I took him to the pediatrician befor the doctor in Louisa or after. I'm thinking it was probably after.)

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas he had to go back to the pediatrician. He was again put on medication for a cold. The pediatrician believed he was congested and that the congestion was causing him to vomit. At this time, we'd also noticed that his eye was turned inward, almost as if he was cross-eyed but only in one eye. The doctor said it was a condition called strabismus and he referred him to a pediatric opthamologist. I researched this condition and discovered that it could lead to dizziness which could lead to nausea. Ahh, all of our symptoms wrapped in a nice neat package. We couldn't get in to see the eye doctor until January though so all we could do is wait.

At this point, my baby was throwing up on a regular basis. And he had headaches, terrible headaches that would leave him screaming in pain. I had no idea at the time though that he was having headaches. He couldn't speak well enough to tell me, I just knew something was bothering him. He would throw up, sleep for hours then wake up feeling a little better. By the time Christmas arrived, he was repeating that cycle a couple of times per day. His eye had turned so far inward that, at times, you could only see half of his pupil. And he was very unstable on his feet. We continued to give him the cold medications even though he hated taking medicine and it was often a two person job.

At my sister's house on Christmas Eve he threw up and sleft for a long time. When he woke, we asked him what was in Mommy's tummy. He told everybody a baby. That's how we announced that Big BK was on his way.

Fast forward a week, to New Year's Eve. We got dressed and went to Ashland. I was wanting to see if there was anything left from the after Christmas clearances. Angel BK loved to go to Lowe's and Sears. They were his absolute favorite places, just like Big BK is now. We went to Lowe's forgetting that it was a holiday, finding that they were closed early. He fell apart. He didn't want to go to Walmart or to a restaurant. I wanted to go to Walmart and we needed to pick up some things so we went. He cried all the way around the store. He was miserable. I didn't know why at the time. We left, went through the drive thru at Dairy Queen and made our way home.

Just as we hit US 23 he threw up again. Hubby said, and this isn't a direct quote as that was a long time ago, "That's it. We have to find out what is wrong with him. Do you want to take him to the ER?"

We turned around and headed to Kings Daughter's Medical Center. That was where my angel was born. We changd his clothes in the truck as he'd covered himself with vomit. He was two and half at that time but I still carried clothes with us just in case because he really did vomit alot. We went into the ER and told the triage nurse what was going on. We only had to wait about half an hour. It was 8 pm, so the ER wasn't busy. We assumed it would be much later in the night.

We were taken back to a curtained area. I don't remember the nurse. I remember Dr. Sal though like it was yesterday. Dr. Sal Magliore, an obvious out-of-towner with a bit of a northern accent and crazy hair. He needed a shave. He came in and asked what was up. I told him about what was going on. I even remember prefacing it by saying, I'm not sure these things are related but.....

Dr. Sal listened the said immediately that he was sending Angel BK for a CAT scan. Hubby fell to pieces. I couldn't go back into the room with the baby because I was pregnant. Hubby went in with him. We went back to our bed and waited. I remember telling hubby that they were going to come back in and tell us that there was nothing on the cat scan but they would find out what was wrong with our precious baby. I was trying to reassure myself as much as I was him. At the time, hubby was not good in a tense situation.

While we waited, we met a woman named Rita. I'll never forget her as long as I live. She was a patient rep and she came over to see if we needed anything. We didn't. Our curtain was pulled closed when I heard Dr. Sal outside. I hear Rita asked him if he wanted her to go with him. He said yes. I knew it wasn't going to be good news.

Dr. Sal was blunt. He told us that the cat scan showed a mass in our baby's brain. They would be shipping him by ambulance to Columbus Children's Hospital. We hadn't been in the ER for an hour at this point and we were told that our child had a mass in his brain. He was asleep on the bed so he didn't see us lose it. That was definitely for the best.

Of course, we fell to pieces, both of us this time. Dr. Sal couldn't wait to get out of there. I don't remember exactly what we did or said but Rita stayed with us.

After we calmed down enough to think, I asked if I could speak to the doctor. Rita went to get him. When he came back, I asked him what he meant by mass. He said it was a tumor. I asked if it was cancer. He said probably, the doctors and Columbus could tell us more about it when we got there.

We had to call our families. Most were at church. We thought to call hubby's sister. He made the call on a phone that Rita brought him. He couldn't speak when she answered, his voice was strangled with grief and tears. I took the phone thinking I could do it. I was the strong one. I started bawling the instant I opened my mouth. I told her that we were at the hospital, that my baby had a brain tumor. I don't remember exactly what was said between us. I'm sure she had a hard time processing what I was telling her. Who wouldn't? You get an emotional phone call from your brother late on New Year's Eve saying that a baby you all love dearly had cancer-nothing unusual about that at all.

She made the announcement to other family members. She sent his dad and brother to the hospital knowing he would need them there. Then she went to my parent's church and told them. I don't know what she said to them, they've never said, but I'm sure it was difficult for her to say and for them to hear.

We left by ambulance at about midnight for Colombus. I was strapped onto a gurney, holding my desperately ill baby. Hubby was driven up by his dad and brother. He couldn't have made the trip on his own. I think I cried almost all of the way.

To be continued.......